Non-existent love life (part 1)

Ugh.

Uhg

ugh

ufdhjgkfvbs.

:(

Alright wassup yo, posting something to myself again (dunno, my sixth sense sayin' there's no one who's gonna read this anyways)

This is an useless post about.. see the title. I'm showing some mercy here, so I ain't gonna rant-spam this to my friends this time (whatamItalkingaboutIdon'tevenhavefriends)

Once upon a time, I discovered the internet. At that time I was thinking to myself "You know, I don't have friends. I wonder, can I, perhaps, buy/get them for free on the internet?" Having nothing to lose, I shrugged "Why not?" So I Googled some sites that could help met get some friends.

I found this impeccable (don't think this is the right word, but wanted to sound smart) site which I will not name. Alright the site-we-must-not-name (heck, this is a pain to type, I'll shorten it with "SWMNN") required you to set up your on profile yada, yada

>> fast-forward >>

I checked some people in the "online" section. After scrolling through (& silently rating people's appearance in my head) I was like, nonono, this won't do. I can't just judge a book by its cover. Le moi went searching something who had something in common. Looked up a game I was really into at that time "LoL" found a bunch of guys, narrowed the section to Europe (tho the Asians were more my type). Scrolled through them with a very uninterested look on my face.

After a good hour and still not finding someone who I wanted to talk to (that was a lie, le me was too shy), I grew some balls (or in my case, ovaries?) and initiated my first-ever chat after 3 years on the site. It was a guy. A guy who had been -stalking- (why don't they support a strikethrough :(( ) ahum, visiting my profile on a daily basis.

I was pretty curious since his profile got some real deep shit on it. Hoped I'd be a special pikachu (I'm really into the PoGo hype lately, as of, July '16) and started the chat with some questions about his obscure profile description (which was literally an essay).

Turns out, mr. daily visitor didn't reply but continued to do his daily 'visiting'. I threw my hands in the air. I'm so done. I used my brains (which I, tbh, don't often use) to write a smart-ass, special, out-standing (now I'm just plain bragging) msg without getting any acknowledgement back. Alright dude, see ya. "Presses block button" no hard feelings.

In a citrus sour mood, I went on my adventures in search for...friends.

Before starting the 2nd part of my 1st part of the story, I'd just give a quick summary/ tl;dr how things ended; weeks/months/ions later, he send a friend to msg me about him being blocked while he, in fact, wrote a lengthy msg back. Me, being the kind-hearted pikachu, decided to unblock him (and even apologize, gosh did I even had to apologize? he was the one who didn't reply >.<) and we decided to chat for a bit, until he started acting a little bit... creepy so I decided to subtly respond with how I hated his country. The end.

Part 2 of the 1st part.

So around this time, there was one lad, whom, out of the 327443 profiles with common interests I visited, wrote a message that didn't start with 'Hi, how are you'. Checked his profile real quick 'cuz forgot who he was again.. There were 2 things that made me hesitate to even bother to reply; at that time he was 16. 16! Which means I was older (let's leave out the 'mature' part) and since he's so young, he prolly still watches Dora the Explorer or something. 2. He didn't have a 'human' profile pic, so I was like hummm... /slowly activates brain/ could he be a bot? a pedo?!

But I replied anyways, 'cuz I'm so nice. Strangely enough talking with this 'suspicious-bot' was a lot of fun, started of as a bit normal and boring and stale tho. In the blink of an eye, our conversations became the same length as a book. And then we befriended on other social (gaming) networks. I was like, was this it? could getting friends for free on the internet really work?

>> very, very fast forward >>

But I was wrong. I made a mistake, maybe once or twice, and by once or twice I mean maybe a couple of hundred times.

I...

started to like him :( by like I mean 'like' like as in 'like' like (pls don't make me explain more). But I never admitted it, because I know (my sixth sense is tingling again) the feeling ain't mutual. And I don't have enough imaginary balls to hear another rejection. And when I stumbled onto his profile of a gaming broadcast site and saw how 90% of his 'follow' list consisted of extremely pretty/cute girls, my brains automatically associated that of how high his standards are). So I gave up. What can I do, I look like a potato :/ + I'm faaar from skilled as they are.. FeelsBadMan.

Things happened. Blocked him. Been like months, it's over.

Secretly, I wish he'd read this. But I know he won't. Lol this ain't a fairytale. So I'm just gonna say this to myself; I miss him ;-; but.. we won't be talking again, even if he would, I won't reply (I have too much pride OTL).

That's part 1 for ya. Will there ever be a part 2? Idk, gonna be busy with college (I swear, my entire study population consist of 98% guys, rip le awkward me :x oh well, I might pick up some gaming buddies or someone who coulda help me build a gaming pc)