Chapter 1

 

Spring breeze, tropical summers, trees losing their leaves in autumn and then came the snowy winters. The winter, which the majority concludes as a lonely season because of the cold. In fact, this is the season of our first love.

One year ago, under the mistletoe Rae asked me with his cute yet handsome eye-smile: "Luna, you're the girl who's always by my side. The girl who is my best friend since kindergarten and always helps me out when I'm in trouble. After some thought I think I want to take our friendship to the next level. So Luna, do you want to become my girlfriend?"
While he confesses, he kept drawing closer to my face with his hopes up. While he did so, he also lowered himself to my height since I'm not really considered the 'tallest' girl ever. Each time he draws closer, I could smell his seductive cologne which always makes me unable to say no to him. It was like I was completely captured by his scent.

To say I was flustered was a huge understatement, I was beyond amazed that my best friend and also the most handsome guy I ever met wanted me to become his girlfriend.
As I was unable to speak I nodded, completely in trance. Seeing how dazed I was while nodding his grin grew even wider as he said "Good. I love you, Luna." with that he sealed our relationship by inching closer until his lips touched mine softly and gracefully.  I never knew he was such a good kisser, that just makes this reality seem even more like a dream.

One year later, the present

However, all of the lovey-dovey ended in just one year. All of the frienship we built up throughout our childhood just disappeared like dust.

It was the year when we were in our last year of high school. Rae got an offer from a famous record label which he willingly accepted. I see nothing wrong with that because I know he can sing really well, plus he's handsome too. Posting videos of him singing on YouTube has paid off.

As his girlfriend, I was genuinely happy for him. There was a bright future ahead of him. But I never thought our relationship would suffer because of it. When he started his career as a singer he assigned me as his personal manager which I gladly agreed on. I had to do things like planning his schedule, take care of him and other stuff a manager does. At that time I was happy to be with him and he was glad that I was there to support him.

Though, as time passes by he became more and more famous which gave him a great ego boost. Slowly but surely the fame got to his head, he started to lose interest in his career and also me, his manager. Instead he only started to care about clubbing and trying to date as much as girls as possible. Since they all throw themselves at his feet because of his money it wasn't really that difficult.

The thing that hurt me the most isn't necessarily the amount of girls he's 'trying' to date behind my back while we're still in some sort of a lovers relationship but the fact that he keeps lying to me. About everything and nothing, he doesn't seem to appreciate the little things I do for him, like buying him a birthday cake or doing his hair and makeup before the show. He just sees that as a 'normal task' that every personal assistant is suppose to do.

I hope he still keeps in mind that I'm human. I have feelings and emotions too, feelings and emotions that can be crushed if you're misusing me...

"Hey, today is your birthday, what are you going to do tonight?" I asked cheerfully as I curled his dark brown hair in the changing room before he has to go up the stage.

"Hmm.. I think I'm gonna hook up with some girls, why?" he asked with an uninterested tone as he flipped through the pages of a fashion magazine.

"Oh.. nevermind then." I tried not to sound too disappointed, so it came to a point that he isn't even hiding the fact anymore that he goes after different girls while we're 'dating'.

Suddenly he threw his magazine away to somewhere in the corner and turned around as he intently gazed me in the eyes what took me off-guard. I tried so many times to not get affected by it, but I just can't. He is too handsome for words, the butterflies can't contain themselves either because I feel them everytime he does this to me.

"W-what?" I said, trying not to blush while continuing curling his hair although his face was right in front of me.

"I wanna know why you ask what I'm gonna do." he questioned, never turning his gaze away. Damn son, why is he so good at staring?

"It's nothing, really. Just go.. and have fun." I mumbled, not meaning a single word I said. In reality, I wanted a night out with just the two of us, but I guess that won't happen anytime soon.

"Hmm.." without saying much he took another magazine and didn't ask further.

Awkward silence.

That's when I decided to ask the question what has been bugging me for quite some time. "Rae.. are we still.. you know, going out?" I asked hopefully.

While continuing reading he casually answered "No, not really."

Ouch. That hurt.

Was it just me or did I felt a crack in my heart?

Unintentionally I let the hair curler fall on his head, making him yelp in shock.

"Ow! watch out Bitch! if you're not gonna do this job right, then better not do it at all. I can easily hire a new one." then he looked at his watch. "Nevermind, I need to perform now." he looked at himself in the mirror, only half of his hair was curled.

"I'll just tell everyone this is the new fashion." he muttered more to himself and exited through the door. A 'thanks for doing my hair' was probably too much to ask for. Looking in the mirror, he never looked behind him. In the background stood a heartbroken girl, tears flowing down hear eyes like a faucet what was unable to turn off.

"Enough." I whispered to no one in particular as I was the only one in the changing room. "I'm going to end everything, once and for all." I said to myself and grabbed my phone out of my bag. I send him a WhatsApp message with "Meet me at the playground we used to play after your concert."

"If he doesn't show up it makes my decision even easier."

-----
"Okay, from now on I will never trust the weather forecast again." I mumbled to myself as I stood on the playground waiting for him. Rain was pouring down like crazy and I stood there with my star print cardigan. It was cold, I was worn out and he doesn't show up (what I should've expected). I let out a sigh as I looked up into the dark sky with here and there some twinkling stars. My eyes wandered off 'till I spotted a fallen star.

I put my hands together in a prayer-like style and closed my eyes. In my head I wished: 'Please let me and Rae be happily together again.' When I was done with my wish, I didn't open my eyes but held it close a little longer.

That's when I heard a voice from the distance. "Hey!"

Upon hearing the voice I fluttered my eyes open and looked into the direction of the sound. I didn't know what came first, my rapidly beating heart or the ecstatic feeling in my body. He came after all. But his next words weren't what I hoped for in my little fairytale.

"What do you want to talk about? keep it short, some girls are waiting for me." he said impatiently, looking down on his watch.

He keeps hurting me, again and again. If I don't end this soon things will become worse. "Hey Rae.." somehow my voice got hoarse, I probably got a cold from standing in the rain for too long. The 'old' Rae used to take off his jacket and put it around my shoulders to keep me warm, but the arrogant Rae standing in front of me right now only waited impatiently with his arms crossed. What happened to us?

"Rae, let's end.. our relationship." I whispered barely hearable while preventing my tears from falling. I don't want to show my vulnerable side to a jerk like him, I'm not a spineless, weak girl.

In response, he only raised a brow "Is that all what you wanted to talk about? you drag me into this crappy weather just to tell me this?! you could've called me or something." he said irritatedly.

Without waiting for what I had to say he continued, "You know what? I think we shouldn't see each other anymore. I've got enough of your stupidy, you're nothing but a dull and clingy girl. I don't even know how I could ever like a girl like you. Besides, I'm famous enough to get any girl I want, get lost!" he ended his harsh speech and walked the opposite direction of me without bothering to hear my reply. Not that I know what to say, but still.

His speech was something I couldn't comprehend. My ears refused to accept his cruel words. Words that were impossible to take back, words that stung the heart until it breaks into billions of pieces, even healing would be useless. Words that causes unhealthy symptoms to the body and emotions. It almost feels like he's saying "I don't want you anymore, even if you die I wouldn't care."

When his speech eventually struck me, I fell to the ground. My knees scratching against the playground where we used to play and also had our first date. The pain of my knees weren't comparable to the aching of my heart. I stared in front of me, defeated and hopeless.

It was like someone just shot a bullet through my body. The boy I loved the most in this universe left me without any sympathy. He treated me like I was some sort of a one-night-stand. Am I really worth nothing to him anymore? please don't tell me our relationship was a lie too.

But no matter how many times he's going to reject me, how many times he's going to hurt me, I will still love him. However, one day I will take my revenge.. and until that day, I will keep holding onto our non-existent love.

I guess it's over, for now. This was definitely not what I wished for.